Does Admitting You Do Not Know About AI Make Your Team Trust You More?|AI for executives| Neuroscience in AI

The oxytocin science behind why honest uncertainty builds more trust than performed AI confidence.

Sahar Andrade, MB.BCh, Neuroleadership Coach, breaks down the oxytocin science of why leaders who admit AI uncertainty build more trust than those who perform confidence. The body broadcasts the truth before the words do.

 Most leaders believe admitting they do not fully understand AI will cost them credibility. The neuroscience says the opposite.

 When a leader says 'I do not have all the answers on this,' oxytocin releases in the listener's brain. Threat perception drops. Trust increases. Cooperation rises.

 When a leader performs AI confidence they do not feel, mirror neurons detect the mismatch. The amygdala activates. Trust erodes at the nervous system level long before anyone can name why they feel uneasy.

In this Friday Forbes article-like edition, Sahar Andrade, MB.BCh, Neuroleadership Coach and Forbes Coaches Council member, breaks down the biology of honest leadership during AI uncertainty. She covers the oxytocin mechanism, why performed certainty makes teams more anxious during AI transitions, the difference between honest uncertainty and anxious uncertainty, and the three practices that make admitting you do not know a trust-building strategy rather than a credibility risk.

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1. Does admitting you do not know about AI make you look weak as a leader?

2. What happens in the brain when a leader admits uncertainty?

3. How does vulnerability build trust in AI leadership?

4. What is the neuroscience of trust and honest leadership?

5. Why do leaders fake AI confidence and what does it cost them?

6. How can a leader be honest about AI uncertainty without losing credibility?

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:13

Here is something most leaders get completely backless. They believe that admitting they do not fully understand AI will make their team trust them less. The neuroscience says exactly the opposite, that the opposite is true. When a leader says, I do not have all the answers on this, something very specific happens in the listener's brain. Oxytocin, which is a chemical hormone that the body secretes or a chemical or a chemical uh that the body that the brain releases increases trust. We call it the team-building hormone. We call it the bonding hormone. So when the oxytocin is released, trust increases and the threat perception drops. The leader who performs certainty they do not feel is not building credibility. They are burning it. I'm Sahar Andradi, neuroleadership coach and forbes coach council member with a medical background. This is AI Cafe Conversation, the for the Friday Forbes article like edition. Today we are going into the neuroscience of why honest uncertainty is one of the most powerful leadership tools available during AI transition. And the industry that we are talking about today is actually a high education one. And I'm gonna keep saying this because I got questions and emails about this. Some listeners are asking me to actually share the organizations that were that happened or names of executives, and I cannot do that due to privacy laws and NDAs or contracts that I signed with my contracts, and also to protect their privacy. I will use the work, I have an approval for that as a case study, but I will never share the names of the organizations or um or of the clients that I work with, just to make that clear. Okay, so what is the problem? What leaders are actually doing right now? So let's start with what is actually happening. On June 5th, I released an episode called Why Are Leaders Faking AI Fluency? The data behind it was striking. Leaders are performing AI confidence that they do not feel. They're using the right words in meetings, they are approving AI initiatives they do not fully understand. They're nodding at AI recommendations they have not verified. I'm gonna put the link for that specific episode into the notes, a description of this episode. So they are nodding at AI recommendations they have not verified, and guess what? Their teams know. Not because the teams have better AI knowledge, because the nervous system reads micro signals that the conscious mind misses. The slight pause before the confident answer, the over-rehearsed talking points, the way the body stiffens when a detailed AI question gets asked. Mirror neurons detect these signals in milliseconds. Milliseconds. And the team makes a rapid unconscious calculation. The leader does not actually know. This is not as solid as they are making it sound. That calculation destroys trust, not loudly, but quietly over time. One performed answer at a time. Sharm, SHRM, the great um human resources organization, found that trust in senior leaders on AI matters drops 14 points between executives and individual contributors. That gap does not appear because leaders are communicated poorly, it appears because people feel the difference between genuine confidence and performed confidence. The body does not lie. The body always broadcasts the truth before the words do. As we know, I mean, this is a communication 101, right? Body language is around 85% of our daily communication. 85%. So no matter what words we say, the body language will always tell the truth no matter what. So let's talk about the neuroscience of that. I always like to basically uh do the foundation always in science. What actually happens when a leader admits that they don't know? Here is the biology. Oxytocin is a neuropeptide. Most people know it as the bonding hormone. What fewer people know is its direct role in trust and threat perception. When oxytocin releases in the brain, several things happen simultaneously. Threat perception drops, amygdala becomes less reactive. Social anxiety decreases. Cooperation and generosity increase. Research from Paul Zack at Claremont Graduate University, referenced in the Harvard Business Review Neuroscience of Trustworth, showed that oxytocin is triggered specifically by signals of authentic human vulnerability, not performed vulnerability. Genuine uncertainty, shared honestly. When a leader says I do not have this fully figured out yet, two things happen in the listener. First, the threat perception drops. The listener's nervous system registers this person is being real with me. That's a safety signal. Second, oxytocin releases, trust increases, the listener's brain shifts from scanning for deception to genuine engagement. Now, here is what happens when a leader performs certainty they do not feel. The listener's nervous system detects the mismatch, consciously or not, it registers something is off. The amygdala, our threat center, activates a low-grade alert. Oxytocin does not release. The listener becomes watchful instead of open, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Trust erodes at the nervous system level long before anyone can name why they feel uneasy. This is not a soft finding. This is measurable biology. The leader who admits honest uncertainty is not weaker than the one performing confidence. They are triggering a completely different neurochemical response in the team. One that builds trust. One that does not. There is a second piece of neuroscience here that matters even more for AI specifically. The brain's threat detection system is exquisitely sensitive to two things deception and unpredictability. Remember, our brain main function while the brain exists is to protect us from danger, either real or perceived. Real or perceived. So it keeps scanning for deception and unpredictability to protect us just in case. So AI rollouts are already triggering unpredictability signals in teams. The environment is uncertain. The rules are changing and the future is unclear. When a leader adds perform certainty on top of an already uncertain environment, the team's nervous system has to hold two contradictory signals simultaneously. The environment says things are uncertain. The leader says everything is fine. We got this. So let's talk about the framework. What honest uncertainty actually looks like in practice? This is not an invitation to unload your anxiety on your team. That's not what I'm saying. That is not regulation. That is actually this regulation with an open door. There is a critical difference between honest uncertainty and anxious uncertainty. Anxious uncertainty sounds like I have no idea what we're doing with AI. I'm terrified. And we're going to get this wrong. I do not know if any of this is going to work. That is your amygdala talking. It's not useful to share from that state. Honest uncertainty from a regulated nervous system sounds like this. I do not have complete certainty on where AI is taking this industry. What I do know is what we're doing this quarter. Why we're doing it, and what are we watching for. I will tell you when something changes. The difference is not the words, the difference is the nervous system state generating the words. One comes from threat, one comes from regulation. Your team feels which one you are in before you finish your first sentence. That is exactly what my brain B-R-A-I-N framework addresses. Regulation is the R. You cannot lead AI uncertainty with honestly guidance or with honesty unless your nervous system is regulated enough to hold uncertainty without collapsing into it. Now I know what you're thinking. Or some of you are thinking, if I start admitting what I don't know about AI in every meeting, do I just look unprepared? Is there a point where honesty stops building trust and starts looking like I'm not in control? Let me push back on that because this is a fair question and the answer actually matters. There is a real difference between honest and certainty and abdication. Saying I don't know and stopping there is not leadership. That actually does erode trust because your team needed direction and you gave them nothing. The trust-building version is never just the admission, it's the admission paired with what you are doing about it. Like I don't have full certainty on this. Here is what I'm watching, here is when I will update you. That is not a leader who looks unprepared. That's a leader whose team can actually rely on what they say because they know it, it will not be performed. Three things make honest AI and certainty a trust builder rather than a credibility threat. First, name what you know and what you don't. Not a confession, or not as a confession, as a briefing. Here is what we are confident about, here is what we are still watching, here is what changes if X happens. Second, stay curious rather than certain. In genuinely ambiguous situations, perform certainty is a threat. It's a threat signal. Genuine curiosity is a safety signal. I do not know yet, but here is how we are going to find out activates actually very different neuroscience than we have this handle. Third, regulate before you read. Do not walk into AI conversations till carrying the anxiety from your last interview. Your nervous system will broadcast it before you open your mouth. The team will feel it and they will trust you less for the performed calm dead faults. The leaders who are maintaining real trust during AI transitions are not the ones with the clearest AI roadmaps. They are the ones whose teams feel when uncertainty arrives, the leader will be honest about it. That is the only kind of trust that holds under pressure. The question I want to leave you with is simple. What would it cost you to be honest with your team about what you don't know about AI? And what is it already costing you not to be? Because the performance is not free. Every meeting where you perform AI confidence, you do not feel is a withdrawal from your trust account. The neuroscience is clear. Honest uncertainty from a regulated nervous system builds more trust than perform certainty from an anxious one. Every time. Share this with the leader who is working very hard to look like they have AI figured out. They don't have to. See you next week. And before I go, as I always say, show me some love, subscribe, comment, create our podcast so more people can see it, share it with someone that needs to hear it. If you want to be a guest on my podcast that and you talk about neuroscience, ai and leadership, you can email me at sahar at saharconsulting.com. Till I see you again, peace out. I'll see you next Wednesday.